So I forced it. I took a paragraph from one blog idea and mashed it with a paragraph from another. I took random pictures that had nothing to do with my words and shmushed them in between the paragraphs so my friends and family would not be as bored as I was reading the damn thing. I added some new ideas but most of it was a confused work of writing from thoughts I had 3, 4, 5 months ago and the feelings were not the same anymore. How was I even trying to write about going to work for the first time after having a baby and my world being turned upside down and dealing with that. I dealt with that! I have been there, I have done that. I figured out how to make the wheels of my home/life spin again even if I am not there every minute of every day. That's not where I am at and yet I was trying to recreate the feelings for the sake of writing something...anything.
The real question is why am I feeling the need to force writing?!?! Writing is my extra curricular activity. It is pure pleasure for me! I get no monetary reward I get no publishing credits, it is supposed to be a fun outlet. And then I figured it out...well it was not all that fast...it is more like a- and then 5 months later I figured it out. I have forgotten to give myself an outlet. I have figured out my work life into my home life. I have figured out how to stay on top of my work schedule I get paid for and how to stay on top of my other work projects I will hopefully one day get paid for. I have figured out how to go from working for quite a few hours and coming straight home to Kol, doing dinner, bath, bed all with a great attitude and a lot of love (most nights - lets be realistic I am human here!) And I have figured out how to, somehow between all the work and mothering, get a healthy homemade dinner ready for my husband and I to sit down and enjoy together on most nights (once again - human here.)
But, then I realized I forgot to schedule in some me "outlet" time. I have not gotten my nails done in months, I have not had a girls night out in a while and though I have been usually good about doing some cardio bar in the mornings a couple days a week I have skipped it all this week and half of last. So instead of those 'luxurious' activities, I decided to try to force a blog. And though it wasn't great, aside from the title - "The ultimate balancing act"- it was good for me to see what I am missing in my