Tuesday, February 18, 2014

To Love is to Serve

Every year Valentines day passes with a flourish of pinks, whites and reds. The world around us starts raining roses and chocolates and cards with little hearts and teddy bears holding little hearts and balloons with little hearts as well. We are assaulted in grocery stores, in book stores, in pharmacies, by many and more products silently yelling at us to hold me, buy me, love me. Whether we believe in this Hallmark-iday oops, I mean Holiday or not, the colors, cards and sweets start seeping into our psyche and we think 'yes, yes, someone shout to me that you love me with cards, flowers, sweets, more sweets, more balloons, more, more, more.'

Although the above paragraph might give you the impression that I am a hater of Valentines day and that I do not believe in the hallmark holidays, I would like to make it quite clear that this in fact is not the truth.  I am a great lover of flowers, chocolates and sweet hand-written-notes. I just believe that all those wonderful things should come at many different intervals during the year. And for me great love is not hidden in flowers, cards etc..  For me the greatest display of love is hidden in the everyday.  

Dov waking up with my son every...you heard correctly,  EVERY morning at 6am because he knows how hard that ungodly hour is for me. Dov doing all of the dishes that filled the sink without me mentioning anything to him.  When I'm sitting at the computer working and I'm surprised with an-eyes closed-Trader Joe's licorice popped in my mouth (have you tried the TJ licorice? I am obsessed!)

When I was younger in previous relationships, I often felt like those cards, flowers and teddy bears.  I would be standing in front of my date, boyfriend or prospective date/boyfriend and be silently screaming 'love me, see me, love me.' Most of the time in some of those relationships my silent screams never ceased because their showering of gifts never completed my need of what I really wanted, which was to not have to question where I am and who I am in my relationship with another.


A couple of years back, on our road trip to California from NYC,  Dov bought a t-shirt that had "to love is to serve" written across the front of it.  We both understood the meaning of the shirt and loved it because we felt its truth. Words are beautiful and abundant and we can use them to express love if we so choose. But the true test of love is not in our words but in our actions....

 I would truly like to write more on this subject but at this moment I simply cannot. Dov just walked in with a glass of wine, chocolates and a beautiful card. He came to wish me Happy Valentines day. He had no idea I was even writing this blog.  The timing is perfect and the card is sweet and has Dov's signature of writing little comments on the card's picture.

'To love is to serve' can be interpreted in so many ways. To me it is knowing your partner. 
While I am (almost) not in need of Valentines day, Dov is not in like of it though he still surprised me with all these goodies tonight because he knows my love of chocolates, wine and sweet-handwritten-notes.  Because I know that his love for me is not solely based on his needs. It is also balanced with what I need in terms of love and affection.

'To love is to serve' is found in the everyday mundane activities and the not so every day little unexpected surprises. 'To love is to serve' is unique to us all as individuals and our particular needs bring new meaning to the overall interpretation of love. Though poets and novelists through the centuries may beg to differ...to love truly, to love wholly, to love unselfishly is hard work and if "serving" my love, serves our greater love, I will gladly be the first in line to work for it.

And on that note I am going to hang out and watch some much awaited episodes of House of Cards with my very patient husband (I have been working for a while this evening).

*Even though we did not go out on Valentines day, I squeezed in some time between the Spa and dinner to do a Valentine's day date night look inspired by Naeem Khan's Fall 2014 show...oh, did i mention I went to the spa on Friday? I went during Kol's nap time with Dov's blessings, because that's what I needed.

Mac Eye Pencil in coffee
Mascara wand!
Stila shimmer powder (discontinued)
Use Stila Eye Shadow Trio in gold glow
Mascara CoverGirl LashBlast 24 Hr. in very black
Nars Semi Matte Lipstick in fire down below
Nars Lip Liner Pencil in amazon
Mac Eye Pencil in coffee (link is above)

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