The bathroom is my sanctuary. For 10 minutes a day (not everyday, but I do try) I get to close the door, let down my hair and watch with excitement as the steam fills up that perfect little room. The thought of the heat bearing down on me sends shivers up my spine. I get in the small shower and it is as if I walked into an ashram in India. All sounds are canceled out by the water beating down. I can only hear my own thoughts and am forced to enjoy the moment. I turn the knob to the right as far as it will go without giving me 2nd degree burns. I revel in the angry red splotches forming on my oh so white skin. If it is one of those days -- and in the last 7 weeks there have been many of those days -- this is when the tears start flowing. The drops all blend together. When I emerge, my face and skin are bright red from the heat and from the tears, the difference is no matter. I grab an extra 2 minutes to apply my Jurlique Lavender mist over my face and body. Aahh the simple pleasures of life!
My hair combed out, my nursing pads in place, I am now ready for whatever Moses Kol throws at me; be it happy coos or angry crying punches. The redness fades from my skin as I step through the door into my new life. “Welcome to Motherhood,” the cool air seems to breath.